Tantrums, Tears, And Tempers: Behavior Is Communication

07 Dec

Temper tantrums are perplexing and exhausting for both children and parents. They occur when children experience strong emotions that they are unable to cope with. Frustration and anger are common triggers. Many parents are unsure how to help their children when they throw a tantrum. Giving them what they want, to stop their tantrums is a typical practice, such as giving a child a toy in order to persuade them to stop crying. However, this response teaches the kid that they can receive things by crying, leading to further tantrums.

Instead, it is better to search for the triggers that drive your child to act out and encourage them to express themselves in more mature ways.

Understanding the cause of temper tantrums

Tantrums are, without a doubt, one of the most difficult challenges of parenting. They're difficult to comprehend, hard to prevent, and even more difficult to respond effectively when they occur. Once your child reaches preschool, they can finally use words to tell you what they need or want, but that doesn't mean their tantrums are over. Your kid is still learning how to handle their emotions, so a minor disagreement can quickly turn into a full-on fit. Because your child also values their growing independence, needing your help can be frustrating. They may lose it when they try a challenging task, like tying their shoes, and realize they can't do it alone. What might result is a raging, screaming child. 

It may help to remember that tantrums are not a sign of bad parenting; they're an essential developmental stage. While there's no one right way to deal with a toddler temper tantrum, most experts agree on what doesn't work. At the top of the "don't" list are yelling and hitting, but short-term solutions such as bribing, begging, and giving in are also poor strategies. 

And when they happen frequently past the developmental milestones, they can become a major issue for the child. The following are a few of the most typical causes of frequent tantrums:

  • In some children, tantrums may occur frequently while others may have it rarely and is a part of child development. It is a way how young children express their dissatisfaction or frustration.
  • Tantrums are frequent in the second year of life when language skills are developing. It might occur when a child is unable to express what they want, feel, or require and tend to decrease as language skills increase.
  • Stress, hunger, exhaustion, and overstimulation can make it difficult for youngsters to express and control their emotions as well as their behavior.
  • Strong emotions such as worry, fear, embarrassment, and anger can be overwhelming and could be a cause for tantrums.

Prevent tantrums before they happen

Understanding that conduct has a purpose that is influenced by other factors, you can help your child develop the required skills to communicate more effectively. Few suggestions that might be useful:

1. Give attention

It is essential to give a lot of positive attention to your child. Praise your little one for positive and appropriate behavior. 

2. Keep to a regular schedule. 

It's extremely vital to have consistent meal and nap times. A child who is tired and hungry is mostly on the verge of throwing a tantrum.

3. Observe child’s tantrums

Keeping a record of challenging behaviors, when it occurs, and what the child is doing before and after it occurs. If you notice a consistent pattern, you can build strategies to address that behavior. 

4. Offer choices

Give your toddler some control by offering basic choices. To keep things simple, offer minor choices, such as, “Do you want to wear your red shirt or yellow shirt?”

5. Give the youngster a warning before you end an activity. 

Like "We need to tidy up the room in five minutes," or "It's almost time to go home.” Children can use warnings to prepare for a change of activities and to finish what they're working on now.

6. Distract your child's attention. 

Make the most of your child's short attention span by substituting something else for what they can't have. Replace the frustrating or restricted activity with a new one or simply alter the environment by taking your toddler to another room or you can take them outside.

 How to deal with Temper tantrums in children

  • When dealing with a tantrum, keep your cool. Don't add to the problem by expressing your frustration or anger.
  • Tantrums should be dealt with differently depending on the cause of your child's distress. You may need to provide comfort at times, or it could be because your child is tired or hungry.  Other times, it's preferable to ignore an outburst or distract your child. 
  • If your child throws a tantrum after being denied something, be calm and don't give your child a lot of reasons why he can't have what he wants.
  • If a tantrum occurs after your child is told to do something that they don't want to do, the best way is to ignore it. But make sure you follow through on making your child finish the task once the child has calmed down.
  • Rewarding your child's tantrums by giving in, is a bad idea. This will simply serve to prove to your child that the tantrum was effective.
  • One of the significant causes of tantrums can be not getting proper sleep. Hence ensure that your little one gets enough sleep as kids who don't get enough of it can become hyper, disagreeable, and exhibit extreme behavior.

Tantrums are not causes of concern usually and may stop on their own. As kids grow, they learn to cooperate, communicate, and deal with frustration. We hope you found this article to be informative. For more information stay tuned on the Kinder Steps app.

You'll find parenting advice for your youngster to help them avoid tantrums. Your child's long-term development depends on it.

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